UNDERSTANDING IS AN ART AND NOT EVERYONE IS AN ARTIST

A large auditorium was overflooded with people. A loved and respected spiritual speaker was addressing the audience on how to maintain a healthy relationship. At the end of question-answer round, someone asked, “What connects two souls; Love, Attachment or just a named relation?”. The speaker answered with ease, “UNDERSTANDING”. The answer looks so trivial when heard, but we do not usually think of this during crisis, or I should say when we are supposed to practice this. Little things weigh more than heavy terms/actions used in routine life. Not giving enough significance to those itself proves that they are above all.

I was scrolling through my database and was encountered with a story of Buddha. This incident is old enough but equally fresh. One day, Buddha with his disciples were going from one village to another. It was a hot summer day, so he was feeling thirsty. He stopped and asked his disciple Anand, to go back and bring water from a small stream which they left few miles back. Anand happily went to the stream. On his way, he thought that he would be able to bring clean, crystal-clear water as he saw while crossing the stream. However, when he reached that point, he was disappointed to see muddy water. Two bullock carts had passed by the stream already and dirty leaves were floating on the top. He did not feel taking this soiled water for his Guru.

When he returned to Buddha, he explained the situation and apologized. He suggested Buddha that they should walk three-four miles forward with a hope to locate another water stream. Buddha denied and showed his stubbornness to get water from that stream only which was muddy now. Despite of Anand’s reluctance, he asked him to go back and bring water. To Anand’s surprise, when he reached the stream again, he found that the water was pretty clean now. All the mud, leaves and dirt had settled down by then. He understood why his Guru insisted him to go back and bring water.

The essence of this story is self-explanatory. We often feel that stillness and calmness are not our cup of tea. Even if somebody beholds these values, we consider them unfit for this world. Understanding is inclusive of multiple attributes. It is not limited to be exercised in a marital relationship; it has varied forms.  

One of the missing elements in all of us is the ability to see these values in others. What we do not intend to accept in others, is missing in us. We are too quick to judge someone. Understanding is giving our side justice to the other entity. It could be lending our silence, our words, our anger, our time, our attempts, our care, our hand holding, our patience, our maturity and at times our childishness. Every situation and person demand different form of our support. It is not just saying OK or YES to everything, it is about letting the other person feel safe with you. Safe to fall, safe to rise.

Just like the moon, one must go through every phase of life to be complete. Let them find their peace in you. Just be there in needed form at all times, and they will turn out to be more than enough for you today and forever ðŸ˜Š