THE ART OF SELF-LOVE
Self
SELF-LOVE IS NOT ABOUT LOVING WHO YOU ARE, IT IS ABOUT ACCEPTING THE SIDE WHICH THE WORLD HAS NOT SEEN
I come from a service class family. My family has never been into business ever. Business circuits, practices are not in our blood, despite being Gujarati. Knowing me and my family, we would have built a profitable business if at all we had tried. The thing with us is, we value a peaceful sleep more than extra stress in business. Doing business is a big deal and more than money, it is about your risk appetite, which we lack in abundance. Long story short, we understand money more than finance. Defense is the best (and probably only) form of attack we believe in.
I Whenever I read or watch something where there is no villain, no stupid character, no unnecessary chaos and drama, I somehow get attracted to it and love to run it in a loop. Motivational stories are many, but inspirational real characters are very few. I read a beautiful story about a man who was running a factory with a team of 15 to 20 people. One of his team members, a young boy, was his favorite amongst all, because of his virtues. One day, this young boy asked the man to grant him leaves for some days as he wanted to visit Jagannath Puri temple. The man happily sanctioned the leaves and gave him Rs. 1000 to donate to the temple on his behalf. This is comparatively an old story, so people used to walk and travel to places. This young boy started his way towards the temple. A day before his scheduled arrival at the temple, the man saw some of the people almost dying out of starvation. He was a very empathetic person and thought to help them. He knew he had Rs. 1000 given by his boss. He thought that he would use Rs. 900 to feed these people and will offer the rest to God, as instructed. If his boss asks him about the money, he will say that he offered the money to God and will not clarify the amount. He exactly did this and went back to his boss after seeking God’s blessings. When his boss asked him about his journey and money, he answered the way he planned. That very night, God Jagannath appeared in the dreams of that boss. God acknowledged that he has received Rs. 900 as his offerings. The man got anxious about rest of the amount. Next morning, since the boy was trustworthy, the man politely narrated about his dream and asked about Rs. 100. The boy was shocked and confessed that he offered only Rs. 100 to the God and rest was used in the service of needy people. There was a smile in this man’s eye and not just face 😊 There is a difference between donation and offering and God very well knows what!
When I say that I do not want to be in the business stream, I am taking a call for myself for not indulging into what is not my cup of tea. I want to or don’t want to is a relative term, it has no ties to being good or bad. When you do things for other’s happiness, it is your donation. When you do it for yourself, it is your offering to self-love. This is because acknowledging, accepting and acting on your very personal DO’s and DON’T’s is extremely difficult. There is a humungous number of external influences, social temptations and circumstantial effects which can trigger you to do what you may not want. Your self-control is the purest form of self-love.
I am not the person I used to be in my teenage years or my 20s. I have changed, my form of offering to my people and myself has changed a lot. My sight towards people, my search for what to look for in people has changed. My definitions about everything have changed. I now admire and respect silence over words, understanding over arguments, continual progress over continuous progress and less over more. When you eventually learn to restrict yourself from flowing with the herd, is the starting point of self-love. My circle has squeezed a lot, but I am extremely content with all the people I have. I chose all these changes and sincerely nurtured them each day, because it was my kind of self-love. We all must decipher our form of self-love.
Politely declining a glass of wine when you don’t want to is a form of self-love, not partying till late night is self-love, silently distancing yourself from negativity (of any form) is self-love, not spreading everywhere is self-love, gracefully accepting the challenges and looking forward with hope and faith to what’s coming is self-love, being compassionate towards yourself and others is self-love, tendering behavior over looks, appreciating innocence over cleverness is self-love, not judging people for who they are is self-love, respecting people for their virtues (and not emphasizing on their vices) is self-love, spending time with nature is self-love, being “always” present for someone we love is self-love, small progressive steps to reach to our destination (professionally and personally) is self-love, maintaining your health is self-love, smiling is self-love and most importantly, talking to God every day is self-love 😊